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A Retirement Community That Comes to You

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Traditional C.C.R.C’s operate under an assortment of contractual arrangements. Some have high buy-in fees, refundable to varying degrees after a resident’s death; others function more like rentals. Depending on luxury and geography, they tend to serve seniors who are financially comfortable.

Often, residents sell their houses to pay entrance fees that average $107,000 to $427,000, according to a report from LeadingAge, the trade association representing nonprofit senior care providers. (LeadingAge has rebranded these entities “life plan communities.”) Monthly fees range from $2,100 to $4,200.

“It’s a great solution for people who either have means or good retirement plans, some wealth built up,” said Ruth Katz, senior vice president of public policy and advocacy at LeadingAge.

So far, the at-home programs carry lower price tags, though members still pay for housing and other living costs. At Senior Choice at Home in Florida, Mr. Ahmadi said, a 75-year-old would probably pay $55,000 to $60,000 in entrance fees and about $525 a month.

At Springpoint Choice, which has about 270 members in New Jersey and Delaware, initial fees run $30,000 to $65,000, with monthly charges of $300 to $500. All the fees are tax deductible.

“If in a year they have a life-changing event, they could be paying $400 a month for skilled nursing, which on the East Coast typically costs $13,000 a month,” Ms. Laidman said.

Ms. Basso joined Springpoint Choice at a bargain rate. Because she has good long-term care insurance, her entrance fee was a discounted $25,790; she paid it with the sale of her New Jersey house and her parents’ condo. Her $128 monthly fee has since increased to $146.



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Do You Need Expert Advice on Being a Grandparent?

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The first grandparent to arrive, Rohna Paskow, had taken the train from suburban Philadelphia. She saved seats for her daughter-in-law’s parents, Charles and Michele Buchbauer, who were driving 50 miles from rural New Jersey to join her.

Their grandson’s birth was still two months away. But Ms. Paskow’s daughter-in-law had asked everyone to sign up for this workshop, called “Now That You’re a Grandparent … Navigating Your Relationship With Your Adult Children,” at the 92nd Street Y in Manhattan.

So here they all were. “Anything for him,” Ms. Paskow said. “Already.”

Sally Tannen, the early childhood educator who directs the Y’s parenting programs, began offering these 90-minute sessions two years ago. Ten people — four solos, three couples — had registered for the one Ms. Paskow was attending, in October.

Ms. Tannen also leads support groups for young parents, mostly mothers, where for years she has heard them fretting about the way their expanding families can strain connections with their own parents and in-laws.

“They’re feeling so vulnerable as new parents that they hear everything through the lens of criticism, no matter what we say,” she told the group gathered around the table. “And they push us away. They want to be the bosses of their own lives and their own kids.”

Moreover, she cautioned, “grandparents can act wildly inappropriately in the beginning when they’re getting used to their new roles.”

How wildly? At the Y, they’re still talking about a grandfather at a previous workshop. Thrilled when his daughter in California became pregnant, he planned to hop on a plane — with his second wife — as soon as the baby arrived, paying the brand-new family a surprise visit.

Ms. Tannen, herself a grandmother of three, didn’t have to tell the man that this seemed a dubious idea; an oh-noooo chorus around the table did the trick.

“Ask your children what they need. ‘How can I help you?’ is probably the best gift you can give them,” Ms. Tannen counseled. “It will go very far toward allowing relationships to flourish if they feel supported in their role as parents.”

I can understand the grandpa’s impulse, though. In the excitement over a new grandbaby — which we all figure we’ll know how to handle because, after all, we’ve already done this at least once — it can take a while to recognize that nope, grandparenting is a whole different gig.

True, much of it feels familiar. We’re not likely to forget how to support a new baby’s fragile neck when we pick her up, or why you don’t burp her without a cloth on your shoulder.

When I became Bubbe to my now 3-year-old granddaughter, Bartola (a family nickname, a nod to the former Mets pitcher Bartolo Colon), I was startled by how much came flooding back: songs, diapering techniques, silly stuff that makes babies chortle.

And the new parts, like how to manage those insanely complicated car seats and how you never ever put a baby to sleep on its stomach any more, aren’t hard to learn.

In fact, grandparenting classes have popped up across the country to instruct us on safety and support during an infant’s first few months. You can sign up for them at hospitals in, among other places, Seattle, Palo Alto, Chicago and Plano, Texas, and at parenting centers in Houston and Santa Monica.

You’re negotiating not only with your kid but often with your kid-in-law, as well as with another set of grandparents, perhaps several. You may also be contending with distance. It’s easy to screw up.

None of these workshop participants — several veteran grandparents, most new to the role— wanted to be wildly inappropriate.

So the questions flew.

How do you handle who goes where on holidays? At Thanksgiving, “there’s this longing to be all together,” confessed Ellen Birnbaum, grandmother to four boys, who plans dinner with her daughter’s family but misses her son’s because they travel to his wife’s relatives in Florida. Ms. Birnbaum contents herself with more inclusive gatherings on the Jewish holidays.

Eric and Ilise Lange practice “time shifting,” assuring their children that celebrating Thanksgiving on Friday or Saturday will be just fine. Michele Buchbauer has a friend whose family get-together occurs in late October when airfares to California are low.

What about social media? The Langes and Joan and Marty Abramowitz, seated across the table, all lamented that their kids (who are married to one another) have forbidden them to post anything about their shared new grandson on Facebook.

It’s a pain to have to text dozens of friends instead, but “none of us have violated it,” Mr. Lange said of the restrictive policy. “We’d be killed.”

“Has anyone run into trouble with gifts and how much to spend?” Ms. Buchbauer (whose grandson, remember, has yet to arrive) asked the group. “I think there’s going to be a lot of limits.”



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NASTY NATE WORKOUTS (CHEST + TRI)

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60 min chest and tri workout that alone has time for! long sessions don’t always equal the most progress.

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Juul Sued by California for Targeting Teens

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TUESDAY, Nov. 19, 2019 (HealthDay News) — Juul, the top-selling maker of e-cigarettes in the United States, is being sued by California for allegedly targeting teens with it early marketing campaigns.

The lawsuit, filed Monday, also alleges that Juul’s website didn’t previously adequately verify customers’ ages, the Associated Press reported.

This is just one of many legal battles for Juul. It’s the focus of numerous state and federal investigations into whether its early marketing campaigns helped trigger the teen vaping crisis in the United States.

Juul denies that it marketed to teens and notes that it’s stopped advertising and taken most of its flavors off the market, the AP reported.

Copyright © 2019 HealthDay. All rights reserved.




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